Qualities to Cultivate By Swami Sukhabodhananda

Qualities to cultivate by swami sukhabodhananda

Life is a journey that must be enjoyed. It is not frustrating. Your mind, which is filled with expectations, is frustrating. Life is beautiful but the mind is hijacked by expectations. You are responsible for your expectations. You go on creating expectations and feel miserable. Not that you should not have expectations; you should. But being a slave to them is a problem. Secondly, one has a sadistic pleasure in enjoying sorrow. One should renounce this primitive pleasure. This is because, when you are happy, no one pays attention. But when you are unhappy, everyone pays you attention and even affection.

Look beneath the surface and you will find that most of us draw our energy from the events of life.  If you are drawing energy from life events, then they become the remote control of your life. Somebody else is controlling your life. That is a kind of hell because I get defined by others definition of who that I is.

When I get defined by others, then who is controlling my life? Others are controlling my life because my I is the creation of what others have said. My I is not an experience of my inner state. It is an experience of what others have told me, so I have been created by others. The reason why we are so caught up in looking good is that others have to endorse us because the I is the product of what others say.

Therefore, we are constantly lost in pleasing others; we cannot be authentic to ourselves. Love who you are. Discover the world within you. Accept yourself as the wonderful person you are. And you will see that life is beautiful. Look out at the ocean of life. Learn to enjoy it. Learn to see its brighter aspects. Renounce sorrow. Celebrate each moment with passion. Focus on what you have and not what is missing. Be passionate about life. It is worth cultivating some qualities that will prove useful.


Learn to be your authentic self: meditate. A person who meditates withdraws themselves into solitude. You should be with yourself for some time. It is then that you start encountering yourself. Then all your masks, your drama, your manipulative modes get exposed in the light of awareness.

In many traditions, being alone with your self is one of the very important disciplines. In Buddhism, even if you are married, at least 2 to 3 months a year, you are supposed to go to an ashram. There, you need not have any mask. You are with yourself and observing yourself. In such a space, your understanding of yourself becomes much clearer.

Be childlike

Every moment, God is blessing us with an experience. Every moment there is an experience but we see only the periphery, we see only the outer layer. We miss the message that is hidden in the experience. Every moment in your marriage, in your divorce, in giving birth to your child or a child even passing away...in every experience if you see the outer layer only, it seems to be like a wild fruit that has nothing to offer. But if you go deep inside, there is a divine message that is given.  

Let go of fear and surrender

Fear closes the door of opportunity and thus treats an opportunity as a threat. Hence, one has to learn the art of surrender. There is a great possibility for joy when you know how to surrender. Nothing else satisfies more than surrender. In surrender, you drop your personal agenda and the expectations of the ego. These expectations fill your being and close the possibility for reality to enter your being. This availability for God to enter your life is true prayer. 

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