How to Avoid Being Hurt : Swami Sukhabodhananda

How to avoid being hurt : swami sukhabodhananda

 People always ask me how we can live life without getting hurt or upset. My workshop, Managing Life Creatively, deals with this very question. The answer to this question lies in how we change the context of our lives, not its content. How we approach what we consider as problems or hurt, is the way to overcome them. Looking at it from different perspectives is the key. For example, when a person tells lies, see how he is a victim to a habit and also see the power of habits. That is teaching you something. If you have this psychology, then you are in heaven. There is no outer hell or heaven. It is your inner psychology. Hell is a disharmony within and heaven is deep harmony. In any situation, any incident, any one telling you harsh words, just feel they are telling you something profound in their own language and mode. Tune in to their mode and do not get hooked on to what you want them to say or what situation suits you.


Once a visitor scolded Buddha, but Buddha remained calm and finally asked him, “Have you finished? I have to go because in the next village people are waiting for me”.


Upon hearing Buddha thus speak, the visitor asked, “Are you not hurt that I have scolded you?”


Buddha said, “To hurt me, you should have met me before my enlightenment.  Now, it is not possible. Your words can be fiery, but my being is calm and hence there is no impact. It is like a hot arrow upon falling on the cold river and losing its heat. Your words may be hot, but my presence is calm and hence not hurt.”


Likewise, when a drunkard scolds you, see the chaos of drinking and not the drunkard. In the Bible, it is said hate the sin and not the sinner. We are all at different stages of our spiritual evolutionary process and have many lessons yet to learn.

The problem is, we think too much. This is apart from the distinction of wise and unwise thinking. We are obsessed with thinking. It is like a whirlpool within. This creates unnecessary headaches. Once you think less and feel more, there will be transformation from hurt to healing. Our thinking has gone so deep that it has polluted even our feeling.


Hence, feel the essential and drop the unessential feeling. Love is the essential feeling that one should have. Love brings connectedness and everyone wants to be connected for disconnection creates isolation. Isolation hurts for that is a state of disorder. Lead yourself from thinking to feeling and then to being. Since, we do not do this, we are hurt. There are many other dimensions of hurt but the core is not leading one from thinking to feeling to being. Being refers to a state of inner void or inner fullness. In that state, one is free from the disorders of thinking and even feeling.


Also, you can hurt yourself only when you do not have a healthy attitude. Attitude creates altitude. One can have the attitude of always being a winner in life. Have you ever thought of how you can always be a winner in life? In my workshops, I dwell on attitude. If you win, you win. If you lose, you learn and, therefore, you win. If one has this attitude, then one will always be a winner. But do not forget one should celebrate ones winning and learn from ones losing and one should celebrate ones learning.

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