Relationship Matrix

27th Jul, 2017

Poojya Swami Sukhabodhananda addressed a group of 80 participants on Relationship Matrix at the Good Karma Retreat on the 27th of July, 2017 held at Bekal, Kerala. The participants were overwhelmed and the program was a great success.

Life is full of relationships. Relationships are crucial. But we have to observe deeply how we relate to oneself; to one’s spouse; to children; to boss; to subordinate; to expectations; to failures and to success. Relationship must become a mirror for reflecting who we are and to transform them into moments of celebration and dance is a creative stance.

Most of the times we are not relating to the other but are drowned in what we want or what we don’t want. Every moment is dancing when I give space to the other and when I am not addicted to my individuality. When one sees the beauty of what is, a positive attitude is scaled.

When the other person is speaking feel his words, feel the vibrations of his words, and feel the space between words. Finally feel the context of what is said. Slowly some other quality in your relatedness will emerge.

The greatest poison is our addiction to what we want or don’t want in other words addiction to our individuality. If snake poison can be transformed into medicine so too one’s worry can become wisdom and ones frustration can become fascination. Ego is the greatest poison and love is the greatest nectar. Love is one thing that cannot be purchased in a market place it is like clean air. Life cannot exist without air and without love true life cannot exist.

The greatest pollution is when love is made to look as “like”. When someone says “I like this” he/she means I love this. Like is not loving. Hence, by comparing like to love, one pollutes and has poisoned the possibility of the nectar of love arising.

Learn not to fall in love but learn to rise in love. To fall in love is to be caught in your dogma of what you want out of love. If you can learn to give out of love, rather than wanting something out of love, then you will rise in love.

Relationships have become difficult for many reasons. People have a poor attitude. For any given situation in life, one can give an uplifting meaning or whipping meaning. It is more than the situation, what meaning one gives to the incident or situation that matters. More often, the meaning one gives depends on one’s attitude. If one is alert one will see one has become more sentimental rather than sensitive. Sentimental is reacting to “what is” based on one’s like and dislikes and being sensitive is to be available to “what is”.

Generally in relationship people look in terms of comfort, security or gratification. If you are using your wife or husband for gratification or security then you are using them and not contributing to them when you use them. If you look deeply within you experience a sense of isolation.

Let relationships be mirrors in which you see yourself, understand yourself and thereby discovering right action. In that right action, you realise the joy of contributing to others, the joy of giving to others, the joy of making a difference to others. Then your action is out of joy and not for joy. There must be a fundamental revolution with relationships with people, with ideas. Therefore it is essential to understand oneself through relationship. For without self knowledge one’s efforts only create further confusion and further misery.

Be aware of your total process of yourself.

Lastly so long there are people there will be differences. Take these differences lightly, but with love and then one’s joy will not get affected by the other.